


Lullaby

by Lavendermagik



Series: Fugitive Songs [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, I made myself sad, I'm trying to make you sad too, Inspired by Album Fugitive Songs, One Shot, POV Second Person, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Reader-Insert, Tony Stark (mentioned) - Freeform, so out of spite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 16:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30109008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavendermagik/pseuds/Lavendermagik
Summary: Sometimes we just need someone to hold us as we break apart.
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Reader, Tony Stark & Reader
Series: Fugitive Songs [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971865
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> Places to listen:  
> [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/54bHluMzO73eFegM8UhJ6W?si=7xmW_Qh5TKquWBe7XPB8Aw&utm_source=copy-link)  
> [Kyle Dean Massey at 54 Below](https://youtu.be/WWxRcxIwb7E)  
> [YouTube Live Show](https://youtu.be/jtXYX25W6yc)

The sound of jet propulsion dying down behind you was so familiar you almost looked. Almost. But you knew it wasn’t him. Couldn’t be him.

And even if you hadn’t known better, the slight whirring of his braces gave Rhodey away the minute he stepped out of his suit.

“How did you find me?” Your eyes stayed on the ocean, even as he appeared in your periphery.

“FRIDAY picked you up in someone’s Instagram story. Apparently, you’re ‘big mood', whatever that means.”

It meant that you’d spent years avoiding social media for nothing.

He must have interpreted your silence as a lack of remorse for the past few days, because he continued in a harsher tone, “You had us all worried, up and disappearing like that. Your mom is about losing her mind.”

“She’s not my mom.”

He paused, shook his head, and said almost pleadingly, “Don’t do that.”

“Why not?” You watched the tide with disinterest, even as you felt like it mocked you with its simplicity. In and out, in and out, every day, no expectation of anything more. Truly unfair. “It’s true. She married my dad. She didn’t ask to be saddled with his illegitimate child from a woman who lied about being on the pill during a one night stand years ago.”

Besides, she had her own daughter now. She shouldn’t have to deal with you at all anymore. But you couldn’t exactly go back and not show up on Tony Stark's doorstep with a birth certificate and a blurry picture taken under the influence of too much alcohol. Though maybe with all this quantum realm nonsense you actually could.

“Is that why you ran away? Because you think she doesn’t want you around anymore?”

Sure. He could go with that. It was easier than delving into the tangled mess that was your emotions.

There was another pause where you knew he was trying to figure out how to get more of a response from you. Instead, he switched tracks completely when his eyes landed on the mottled skin of your throat. “What happened to your neck?”

“Guy at a truck stop in Montana with a mouth like a Dyson.”

That threw him, at least. For a few minutes the only sounds to break the silence were the waves and the shouts of birds and kids further up the beach. Eventually, voice weighed down with weariness, he said, “What are you doing, kid?”

And wasn’t that the question?

“Look, can we just… go home? I know it’s not the same with your dad gone, but-”

“Sounds the same to me.” You fingers tightened around the plastic in your hand, but your tone remained light and dull. “He was gone most of the time, wasn’t he? Always leaving for something. Leaving to fight terrorists. Leaving to fight aliens. Leaving to start a new family in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, far away from everything and everyone.”

He let that hang in the air like smog for a moment, before reaching for your arm until you shifted your weight to your far leg, a subtle but undeniable withdraw. “Tony loved you.”

“Did he? Then why wasn’t I ever enough?” Your voice began to shake in time with your clenched fist. “I tried, I really did. I wanted to build things like he did. I wanted to graduate MIT as a teenager and be on the cover of magazines and change the world. But only half of my genetics come from a genius. The other half come from my mother who died of a drug overdose while I watched cartoons in the next room. I was never going to be smart enough. I’m not-”

You cut off to swallow back the tears that threatened to choke you, worked to even out your rising tone. “I thought if I could show I was just like him, he would love me more. And If I could make him love me enough, he wouldn’t need the rest of the world to love him, too. But there was always someone more important to save. And I’m the selfish brat who whines about her father being a hero. You’re not supposed to be mad at someone who gives his life to save the entire universe. But all I can think is he didn’t care enough about me to stay. And I hate him. I hate him so much.”

You closed your eyes, which knocked the welling tears free. “And now he’s gone. What am I supposed to do?”

He didn’t give you the option to pull away this time. Instead, he wrapped you in his arms and crushed you to him, holding you like he knew you needed, even if you wouldn’t admit it. All of three seconds passed before you broke down, sobs wrenched from your lungs so violently it hurt. “You’re not supposed to do anything,” he murmured into your hair. “You are allowed to be in pain. But you don’t have to be in pain alone.”

“I don’t know how to do it any other way.”

“I’ll show you. Just come home.”

You pushed away and scrubbed viciously at your damp cheeks. “I don’t know where that is.”

“With me. With all of us.” He reached for your hand and worked your fingers loose to reveal the short screwdriver you clutched, dirty and scuffed, liberated from its place of honor in your father’s workshop. “Tony may have been your dad, but he’s not your only family. Like it or not, you’re stuck with us. And nothing you do is going to make us let you go.”

You allowed him to tug you forward and get an arm around your waist again. He pressed a kiss to the side of your head, and you held onto that moment for longer than you probably should have, indulging in his generosity of affection and understanding and ignoring how damp his shoulder had become. “What if the pain never stops? What if I’m just angry forever?”

“Time is the great equalizer. I promise it’ll get easier. But the most important thing to remember is I’m always right here and always will be.” His hand brushed over your hair, strong and soothing even as his tone lightened. “Though maybe next time we can avoid the cross-country trip, huh?”

You swallowed again, finally found that remorse he’d been looking for earlier. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He ducked down to get a clear look at your face and wiped away the tears you’d missed. “We all gotta run away sometimes. As long as you know where to run back to.”


End file.
